Father, Entrepreneur, Crypto Enthusiast, Gamer

How Telling People that they are Wrong, Convinces them That You are Right

Everyone knows that the most effective way to communicate your beliefs is to use words that describe an opinion of a situation or a person that are laced with disdain and mistrust. Right?

Some people seem to think so, regardless of how wrong actually is in reality.

It’s totally acceptable that a lot of them feel the way they do about any given subject I’m not disputing that, the reason will always make sense to them. If their goal is to express frustration, congratulations, you’ve done that.

However, If the goal is to express a viewpoint that encourages others to question theirs, it is far from effective.

What I want those people to take measure of, is whether or not you would consider new information from a party with a different view that bashes their information into you, or if you would dismiss it out of hand like they have.

As human beings we tend to fall into the trap that we will be able to convince someone else to do something that we want them to do.

This is the biggest lie in the history of lies, and to help you realize that I want you to consider something.

Your eyes are yellow. Do you believe me?

This is after all a matter of belief since all viewpoints and perspectives are also a matter of belief, and while beliefs are usually based in a common truth, they don’t actually have to be true to be believed.

They may or may not actually be, and it doesn’t matter if they are or are not.

Now if you looked into the mirror this morning, and you saw that you had blue, brown, green or whatever non-yellow colored eyes you actually have, how likely are you to believe me when I tell you that you have yellow eyes.

You may deny me flat out, knowing that your eyes are in fact blue, or you may want to see a mirror to see if something changed, maybe I was referring to a health condition and the whites of your eyes were yellow.

No matter what your response, you are a lot more likely to take what I say about your eyes under consideration if I do not attack your views but instead simply call them into question.

If you have a firm stance on something, the odds of you changing your mind to accommodate the possible truth of someone else is already relatively slim. Now consider your response if I tell you that your eyes are yellow and to think they are blue is insane. Are you more or less likely to give me your attention or dismiss me out of hand?

It doesn’t matter if you are right or if they are, viewpoints are by nature disputable. It only matters if the idea is believed.

So the next time you want to try to convince someone that they are wrong about something, don’t tell them they’re an idiot for believing the way they do, or that their beliefs have no merit. Ask them if they’ve considered something that helped convince you of your beliefs and let them come to their own conclusion.

Most importantly be prepared to walk away if they will not change their mind, and you will not change yours.

Not everyone has to believe as you believe, and anyone who shares your belief in every aspect of what you believe is even more dangerous to you than the person who challenges your every decision.

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